IVF FET August 2019

In Vitro Fertilization Frozen Embryo Transfer. Let's take a look at what that calendar looks like for me, shall we?
On my July calendar, I have finally reached the point where I can see the current day on the schedule! How awesome is that? I finally have all my meds for this round. I will take 13 more days of birth control, ending on the 12. I love how organized and easy to read the schedules are. I never have any questions or guesses on when I start each medication or even the time of day.
On the 12th, I switch from taking birth control to taking baby aspirin. Baby aspirin is nothing new to me. When we were being diagnosed with what our infertility problems were back in 2015, I was on baby aspirin for around 9 months. It is a very common medication to have women take that deal with infertility. I will take that up until I am a couple months pregnant (and it will be the only blood thinner I take the entire pregnancy)!
On the 16th, our bank account will have significantly less money than it has right now. My guess would be $6000. I will also make the 3 hour round trip visit to the reproductive endocrinologist to have my baseline ultrasound and a blood draw. This ultrasound is to check follicular development and check endometrial thickness. Basically the technician will measure how many follicles I have on each side that are equal to or greater than 10 mm and how thick my uterus lining is. They also check a couple other things.
The following day, I take 4 mg of Estrace twice daily. From my understanding, Estrace (and a similar medication, Estrodial) are forms of estrogen. They are prescribed to IVF FET because they help a woman's endometrium grow and prepare for a pregnancy. They're giving my lining a greater chance to get nice and thick.
"A meta-analysis published in Medicine looked at 11 studies involving estrogen supplementation plus progesterone as luteal phase support in those undergoing IVF. Researchers concluded that taking both progesterone and estrogen supplements during IVF treatment after egg retrieval was associated with a higher clinical pregnancy rate than progesterone alone."

(via: https://www.verywellhealth.com/why-do-i-need-to-take-estrogen-during-ivf-2616548)

The side effects can include the following:

• Spotting or light vaginal bleeding 
• An upset stomach, nausea, or vomiting
• Vaginal discharge or itching
• Weight gain
• Swelling or bloating
• Headaches
• Breast tenderness or pain 

Right before I became pregnant with my daughter, I weighed 5-10 pounds more than I had before taking all the fun medications that go along with IUIs and IVF. I hope the side effects stay at a minimum and I am determined that I will stay on a healthy eating regiment and I exercise several times a week to help with some of those symptoms.

On July 26, I go in for my final ultrasound before the transfer. They are checking the same things for the second ultrasound.

Then August starts. One final blood draw checks not only the estradiol levels, but also my progesterone levels. I start the progesterone shots on August 4.
The dreaded shots.
The shots that have dozens of blog posts lamenting the pain and agony you endure with the shots.
The shots that have many women claiming if you don't do them the "right" way, you endure what can only be described as the feeling of having several marbles in your rear.
I need to do a little bit more research to figure out the best way for me to do these shots. I get to do them once a day in the morning starting on the 4th and continuing on for several weeks (assuming this round ends in a pregnancy). The shots--if you could not deduce by this point--are administered in your rear end. I have the needles and oil sitting tucked away. Whenever I happen to see them, I try to put them out of my mind. I am no stranger to needles and became great at giving myself shots twice a day for the entirety of my previous pregnancy, but those were not intramuscular. I may have had one intramuscular shot with my first round, but that was one shot, once.
August 5 I start a Z-Pack. No big deal. After going through a couple rounds of progesterone shots, I can do a pill a day for five days.
Then we reach August 9! The day I have been looking forward to for a couple years! The day I become pregnant and hope that the stars align and I stay pregnant.
I honestly did not understand the idea of PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) until recently. I thought it was just a gimmicky way for IVF girls to stay optimistic during the wait for the blood draw. I get it now. When that tiny embryo is placed inside me, I am pregnant. There is the tiniest speck of a human that I am housing. I really am pregnant at that moment. I think I will be much more emotional about the transfer this time around.
Last time, all I could think about was how badly I needed to use the bathroom after the technician was pressing on my very full bladder for what seemed like an eternity.
And then? I go home (or to my sister's house) and relax. I get to relax that day and the two following days. My clinic calls them "Princess Days." The idea is that I should not do anything to get my heart rate going. I know, I know. The idea of bed rest has really been discredited by the medical world, but if my doctor says rest, I will rest. I will do anything in my power to get the baby to stick. On one of the evenings, I think I get to have two of my sisters and a cousin over which I am really looking forward to. I am the most worried about my toddler. Hopefully she will be distracted enough by being surrounded by cousins and being in a fun new place that she won't care that Mom can't play with her.
That evening I start the progesterone in oil. This one is going to be a pain to take through the airport because it has to be refrigerated. I don't know what we are going to finagle, but we'll probably bring a cooler, dump the ice right before security, and then get ice at the other side. Because we are not checking any bags, I also get to bring needles through security. It will not be the first time I will do this (my grandmother passed away when I was a couple months pregnant and I needed to bring my heparin with me to the funeral), but I know I will be so nervous until we make it through security. They hopefully won't blink twice because who knows that I will do in an extremely hormonal state.
The pregnancy test will be on August 19. I need to find a clinic in my area that will do a blood pregnancy test for free. There has to be one, right?
That is my calendar for this round! I am most thankful that I have less than two weeks left of birth control, so hopefully I can get a hold on my hormones before the intense part of the process starts up.

Birth Control II

Grumpy. I am a grumpy person right now.

The littlest things set me off. I get angry when something hits my foot, my toddler whines, or I receive unsolicited advice. That's not me. I am supposed to be slow to anger, someone who can brush off almost anything. I should be ignoring the dropped blocks; laughing inside that my little girl both wants me to hold her, but doesn't want me to touch her; and privately rolling my eyes when I hear, "Well, I did this and if you did it also..."

I do not want to be around people because I am afraid they will irritate me.

I sound terrible, don't I?

This is the curse of birth control on my body. I need to be on birth control right now because they need to control the thickness of my lining so I can provide a nice, comfy, hopefully permanent resting spot for my little embryo. They need to make sure I am at the right place in my cycle before my next frozen baby finds a home inside me and I am officially pregnant for at least two weeks.

The first time I was on birth control was immediately before I was married, over eight years ago. I was a hormonal wreck. One of my older brothers went to rebuke me for a snarky comment I had made and I burst into tears. My husband remembers cutting sarcasm flowing from my mouth. That round of birth control lasted for a few short months.

The next time I was on birth control was three years ago. I was undergoing IVF for the first time. I honestly cannot remember what my emotions were like.

I started birth control just over five weeks ago. After two days of normalcy, I did not put two and two together when the whole world got infinitely more irritating. Was everyone trying to bug me on purpose?

As we came up for a breather during the placebo pills, the colors outside were brighter, my brain was not fuzzy anymore, and everyone was just so pleasant to be around again. Once more, I did not make a connection. My brave husband pulled me aside one evening.

"You know, you are so wonderful and happy and fun to be around right now. Last week, however, you were not great." He kindly told me that I basically was nitpicking everything and getting upset over minuscule things that should not bother a normal human.

So now, I am counting down. I only have fifteen days left on the pill. I have fully accepted my quick to anger attitude. There have been a small handful of people I have confessed this to over the past week and it has felt very relieving when I say it.

"Here's a big fault I have right now. Sorry!"

I have been trying to take it easy during the day with my baby best friend and surrounding myself with very loving and forgiving friends. Last night, I was with some friends. The vibe was super positive and I was teaching them a skill which did wonders for my need to teach. They are such amazing people and I was on cloud nine the rest of the evening.

Here is hoping this round of IVF works out even just so I do not have to go back on birth control in a few months.

Water Ultrasound

One week ago today, we drove up to the nearest clinic that would do an SIS for me. The drive was over 1.5 hours away. My toddler was in the back of the car, complaining the entire way.
As we arrived at the clinic, we were a little surprised to see it was in a large building with dozens of medical offices. I guess I am used to my small town clinic with its own beautiful building. Being in a large metropolitan area means that space costs much more.
We purposefully arrived half an hour early. After all the difficulty in booking the appointment, we did not want to risk missing the appointment.
As we sat in the waiting room, my toddler played with a few toys we had brought in and the husband and I watched a reality large-scale fish tank builder show. Who knew such shows existed. We were laughing at the drama they created and the blatant ad for Dairy Queen in the middle. The humor they tried to create for the show was terrible.
Previously when I have had to have a catheter inserted for an IUI or another type of ultrasound, my clinic discovered that it was much easier if I had a full bladder. Remembering this, I was prepared and had to pee badly the entire time we sat in the waiting room. After we were called back, they asked that I empty my bladder. I cringed, thinking that it could take a while for the ultrasound to take place if I had to drink more water but complied.
As I sat on the examination table, I stared at the ultrasound display on the television screen and got a little choked up. I was sitting in a room, finally starting on the first steps to get our second child. Next to me was my darling little girl and my husband. I could not stop thinking how blessed I was. I already had a baby. Could I control my emotions better as I went through the process again? Would I be able to emotionally make it through more than one cycle?
My husband asked our daughter to hold my hand as we did the ultrasound. She very solemnly placed her hand in mine as we waited for the catheter to insert the saline. She watched in awe as the wonderful RE took a few pictures of everything that he found. It was, thankfully, uneventful. He said everything looked great and that I should be able to proceed with the FET in a month or two.

We were extremely grateful for him. We chatted a bit prior to the procedure and he agreed with us that it is more than slightly preposterous that very few clinics in the area will help patients that are working primarily with another clinic.

Later that day, I called the clinic and we scheduled the transfer for July 25. We then learned that we may have to push that date back by a week for my husband's school schedule. I will have a definite date by tomorrow. (A very good thing because flights keep getting more expensive!)