OB Appointment 16W2D

Earlier this week, I went to my sixteen week appointment. I was scheduled to do an ultrasound first to check out my subchorionic hematoma and meet with the OB shortly thereafter.
As I was showering that morning, I missed a call from the clinic saying that their ultrasound tech was out for the day and if I called back after 8:00 (when their office opened), I could hear what my options were. We were planning on heading out at 7:50 in order to make it to the appointment on time, so we followed through with our departure plans and I called the office once they opened. They gave me the number for central scheduling for the health network so that I could still schedule an ultrasound.
After lots of discussion over several phone calls with a delightful woman, I received an appointment at an imaging center next door to the OB's office. The only problem was that the earliest available appointment was at 1:30. We were going to have lots of down time.
My husband and I decided that if the OB appointment went well, we would cancel the ultrasound and just head home.
Our hopes of getting home early were dashed during the OB appointment.
"You have a lot of blood in your urine!" was the first thing we heard from my doctor after pleasantries were exchanged. After asking a couple of questions that could explain where it had come from, she said I most likely had an infection and she would send off a sample to be examined.
"The next problem is that you are not gaining enough weight." I was more than a little perplexed that there was more than one problem. I've always passed my OB appointments with flying colors. They normally listen for a heartbeat, we chat for a few minutes, and then they send me on my way. "You have only gained two pounds this pregnancy." Let's ignore the fact that I was also in cold weather gear that added a bit of bulk to my outfit that day as well... "I am putting you on a 3000 calorie diet. It's not that hard. Just add a bit more to each meal and maybe a few more snacks." They wanted me to have gained between 4 and 7 pounds by this point.
Leaving the appointment slightly discouraged, we decided that we should keep the ultrasound appointment.
We killed time for three hours by buying my daughter's Christmas present and stopping by Trader Joe's to grab some lunch. We thought we would be home in time for lunch so we hadn't brought anything with us.
The ultrasound appointment was the highlight of the day. I thought it would be a quick five minute ultrasound with the tech measuring the size of the hemorrhage and moving onto the next patient, but we were pleasantly surprised to be there for over twenty minutes. I think we had a scan just as thorough as the anatomy scan that I will receive at my next visit. We got to see all four chambers of her heart, the beautiful structure of her spine and ribs, her curled up legs, and her adorable face. She kept opening and closing her mouth. The hemorrhage is still present, and the tech said we had to wait for the OB to compare the two scans. The tech was wonderful to chat with and I feel she shared things a little more openly than other techs I have worked with. We left with six more pictures of our adorable little baby that my older daughter loves to study.

Ever since the appointment, I have been trying to get my calories up, but it has been a challenge. I cannot eat much for breakfast without feeling sick and on the days I try to eat more for lunch, I am still full at dinnertime. I tracked my calories a few times and realized I am not getting close to 3000 calories. I am not even eating as much as someone in their second trimester should eat. My goal is to eat more snack and keep my meals the same, but now I need to plan ahead and brings snacks with me when I have outings.

Blessed

Every night before my daughter goes to bed, we say a prayer together. Tonight my husband was at school until late so it was just the girls. These days, I usually say the basic prayer with my daughter chiming in as to what she is thankful for. I always get a kick over what she decides to thank her Heavenly Father for. Tonight, she listed off a half dozen letters (including capital and lower case specific ones).
As I added more to her prayer, I said that we were thankful that we were blessed with another baby. My voice broke and I needed a minute to compose myself before continuing. I had a flashback to earlier in the day.
This morning, a darling friend dropped by for a short period of time. She was talking about a trial that she has been going through.
Even though it is not similar in the least to what I have had to go through to get my babies, she influenced me. She is so optimistic about it and is looking at all the positives. She is such an inspiration to me. I really do not know how she does what she does, but it makes me feel bad about the pity parties I have on occasion.

I am blessed. It is incredible that with our infertility problems, I have a very healthy pregnancy with a second child. It would be impossible for us to conceive children not that long ago (in medical years). I am able to connect with so many people. I do not take motherhood as lightly as I probably would had we not been through this. Will I ever look at my infertility without any sorrow? Probably not. But I can at least slowly change my heart and my point-of-view to a much more positive one.