24 September, 2016

Twelve Weeks, Three Days

I am convinced the baby is a boy. I don't know why. (Husband asked if it was a mother's intuition. It's not that.) I am a little too practical to believe that you can sense what sex the baby is. The baby's gender is solidified immediately at conception. Had Husband and I chosen to do genetic testing on all our little frozen embryos, we could have chosen the sex. (It does make me curious to see how many are boys and how many are girls.) I think of the child as a he and have begun imagining pastel blues and greens in the future.
This evening I started thoroughly researching baby supplies. I decided to look at Amazon and Target specifically for registries to start planning what to buy. When I logged into Amazon and clicked on the "baby registry" button, an unfinished registry popped up and memories came flooding back. When I was pregnant the first time, I started a baby registry on Amazon. I was excited and threw caution to the wind, starting to determine the safest and cutest items. No matter how much time passes, I will always remember the miscarriages and fertility treatments. (Hey, the rest of my time as a child-bearing aged woman will be filled with fertility treatments.) Yesterday I commented to Husband that our marriage could be divided into these sections: The time I wanted to conceive, the era of miscarriages, infertility, IUIs & IVF, and viable pregnancy.
I went through multitude emotions as I saw the unfinished registry and finally ended on hope. Occasionally I think about what would happen if I lost this baby. That thought runs through my mind less and less frequently and I am surrounded by the best supporters. Twice my husband has panicked because he forgot about an unusual event in my schedule and he could not get in contact with me. This past week, I was driving up to carpool with a friend to a dinner/craft night. The usual 15 minute drive took me 45 minutes due to a freak pumpkin accident on the freeway. My phone must have been on silent because she tried calling several times. She called someone else to see if they had Husband's phone number. She finally started to look up Husband's work number as I pulled up. I had been cramping the day before and she was getting worried.
I love my support system.

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