The latest OB appointment on Friday was different than we were expecting. Husband and I felt as though we were both hit hard with unwanted and unexpected medical news last week which has taken quite a bit of mental adjustment.
We showed up at the clinic in the middle of a small snow flurry to find a packed waiting room. It was a Friday in the late afternoon relatively close to Christmas, so we should not have been too surprised. After waiting longer than usual, we were called back to meet with the midwife. She showed up and took a second to really talk to us. She made small talk, but she was perusing my medical chart which apparently had not been filled out (at all) by the other doctor in the clinic we had seen. Even more of a reason for my husband to dislike that doctor.
After asking all the clarifying questions she needed to get the gist of our fertility background, miscarriages, and IVF story, she asked me what I wanted the birth to be like.
"Well, I would love to have a natural birth, if it is possible."
"That may be hard to have happen."
Cut to the heart dropping. Huh?
The midwife went on to say that because I am on a heavy blood thinner (heparin), I would most likely be induced at 39 weeks. They do not want me to give birth within 12 hours of having taken a dose of heparin. My mother labored for very short periods of time after her first (17 hours of labor at the hospital), but who knows how long I will take. If I have recently taken the heparin, I could easily hemorrhage which would not be a fun addition to the birth story.
"The other option is we could just take you off at 36 weeks and bring you in several times a week for monitoring."
Ha. Husband did not like that idea at all. He was disgusted that we would "take a chance" that all would go well.
The midwife said that no matter what, if we chose to go with her for the delivery, she would definitely need an OB to consult with because of the blood thinner involved.
As she measured Baby and listened to the heartbeat, I told her of our dislike for the other OB we had seen. She said there was another doctor she thought we might like more. She said she would consult with him about what he would do in this case and suggested that we have our next appointment with him so that hopefully we click better with him.
I am reaching the end of when I would feel comfortable with changing clinics. My next appointment will be in my third trimester and I do not want a short period of time to get to know the clinic and doctor I will be working with.
For the next appointment, we will also have another ultrasound to check on the cyst. We both have the feeling that it has subsided, but there is always that slight worry in the back of my head.
19 December, 2016
16 December, 2016
When All the Pharmacists Know You
We frequent the local Target for all our pharmacy needs. (Not an ad.) We started going there frequently around the time husband was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year. Ever since the round of IVF I went through this summer, I have also become a frequent buyer. We go there every other week, sometimes more frequently.
The pharmacists who are there more often know us by name which is nice and sad at the same time. "While you are here getting [husband]'s medication, I think we also have your wife's in stock also."
Because I take heparin twice daily, we have received several comments from them about that. (I swear I am the only person that buys liquid heparin from them.) "Hey, I thought of you the other day. Someone else came in to buy heparin. We ordered a large batch, so it should be ready for you when you need a new refill." (We have had to wait up to a week for them to get heparin in before.)
I think that we are irritating on occasion. I have switched needles a few times to get the ones that are most comfortable. I have switched dosages of heparin a few times to see if the more diluted stuff works better than the less diluted stuff. Husband has had his thyroid medication dosage changed many times, but the doctor's office is sometimes slow to inform the pharmacy. I worry we irritate them, but week after week, we are greeted with a smile and personal greeting.
Yesterday we had a very touching experience there.
We were stopping by to get yet another new thyroid drug for husband. (He's seeing a new doctor. This doctor seems to know what he's doing and has a much better bedside manner. Thank goodness.) As we waited in line, a couple of the pharmacists greeted us by name. One of them grabbed husband's prescription and said she did not see one for me. ("I don't need mine yet.")
Then we killed time, waiting to get to the front of the line. I heard my name called out. Slightly surprised, I turned toward the pharmacy, wondering if I shared a name with someone that worked there. Nope.
"Hey. I did something the other day and realized I probably should have asked you first. I know that you buy the smaller insulin needles, but since you pay for them out of pocket, it's super expensive. So, I sent a fax to your doctor asking for a specific prescription for them so that the cost would be covered by your insurance. I hope you don't mind that faxed them before asking you."
Huh?
Flashback.
A couple months ago, we were at the doctor's office and I asked for a prescription for the new needles that I loved using. Well, we arrived at the pharmacy later that week only to find that the prescription was written for the fat needles that we do not like using as much. Husband and I both thought that maybe we just could not get our insurance to pay for the new needles because they were specifically for insulin.
After profusely thanking the pharmacist, we bought husband's new drugs and went on our merry way.
I have not stopped thinking about how kind that pharmacist was ever since then. I am sure some people would be offended because she did something behind their back, but I am so touched that she thought about the large cost of the needles and decided to do something about it.
I love our pharmacists.
Twenty-Four Weeks, Two Days
Today is my latest appointment at the OBGYN office. After this appointment, my next will be officially in the third trimester and I will have to start going every other week. I am not nervous for this appointment, but I am curious to see my blood pressure today.
I did not write about my last appointment. Most likely because it worried me and made me thoughtful. The 20 week appointment brought with it the anatomy scan and I loved every minute of it. She was moving around like crazy and we got some great shots of her. I love seeing how well she is developing. Her small but perfect bones. Her perfect little nose. Her adorable feet. Her tiny fingers. Her internal organs. The beating heart. The bladder. The brain.
We were sent in to talk with the doctor. (We met the doctor we are "supposed" to be with again. Husband did not mind him. As much.) He said I have an anterior placenta. (That explains why I do not feel her kick very much or very hard.) And then he hit us with a bombshell. Baby girl has a cyst on her brain. It's a small cyst. Nothing to worry about, but it's a cyst on her perfect brain. I panicked slightly while husband was able to ask the logical questions.
What does this mean? What should we do? What happens next?
Cysts on fetal brains are not unusual in the least. A cyst usually stands as a marker for another problem as opposed to just being a problem with the brain. A cyst could mean a disease such as trisomy 18 or 21. The doctor said that no other worrisome markers were found. That's a good thing. Because of this, he thinks the cyst will go away. There is nothing we can do about it. I just have to keep being healthy. We will do yet another ultrasound at 28 weeks to see if it has absolved. (Our fridge is already half filled with ultrasound pictures. I recognize that I have well over the average number of ultrasound pictures, but I am not one to complain.)
I obviously researched this upon arriving home and was calmed by what I read. It usually goes away. This should be nothing to worry about.
It does stay at the back of my mind, but I focus more on enjoying her in her cozy little residence. She loves moving in the morning and evening. I most often feel her kicks in the bottom left or top right of my belly. Sometimes she graces me with just a single kick, but I love the occasional moments when she decides to go all out for a minute or two. I am known for nudging her back because she frequently responds with another kick. Husband teases me for doing this.
Today we will meet the other midwife at our clinic. If we like her, we will stay at the clinic. If we do not like her, I think we will start shopping around for another clinic to attend. (That thought stresses me slightly. The fact that we will possibly change providers close to 2/3 the way through the pregnancy.)
I did not write about my last appointment. Most likely because it worried me and made me thoughtful. The 20 week appointment brought with it the anatomy scan and I loved every minute of it. She was moving around like crazy and we got some great shots of her. I love seeing how well she is developing. Her small but perfect bones. Her perfect little nose. Her adorable feet. Her tiny fingers. Her internal organs. The beating heart. The bladder. The brain.
We were sent in to talk with the doctor. (We met the doctor we are "supposed" to be with again. Husband did not mind him. As much.) He said I have an anterior placenta. (That explains why I do not feel her kick very much or very hard.) And then he hit us with a bombshell. Baby girl has a cyst on her brain. It's a small cyst. Nothing to worry about, but it's a cyst on her perfect brain. I panicked slightly while husband was able to ask the logical questions.
What does this mean? What should we do? What happens next?
Cysts on fetal brains are not unusual in the least. A cyst usually stands as a marker for another problem as opposed to just being a problem with the brain. A cyst could mean a disease such as trisomy 18 or 21. The doctor said that no other worrisome markers were found. That's a good thing. Because of this, he thinks the cyst will go away. There is nothing we can do about it. I just have to keep being healthy. We will do yet another ultrasound at 28 weeks to see if it has absolved. (Our fridge is already half filled with ultrasound pictures. I recognize that I have well over the average number of ultrasound pictures, but I am not one to complain.)
I obviously researched this upon arriving home and was calmed by what I read. It usually goes away. This should be nothing to worry about.
It does stay at the back of my mind, but I focus more on enjoying her in her cozy little residence. She loves moving in the morning and evening. I most often feel her kicks in the bottom left or top right of my belly. Sometimes she graces me with just a single kick, but I love the occasional moments when she decides to go all out for a minute or two. I am known for nudging her back because she frequently responds with another kick. Husband teases me for doing this.
Today we will meet the other midwife at our clinic. If we like her, we will stay at the clinic. If we do not like her, I think we will start shopping around for another clinic to attend. (That thought stresses me slightly. The fact that we will possibly change providers close to 2/3 the way through the pregnancy.)
15 November, 2016
Nineteen Weeks, Six Days
Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow and Thursday are both big days.
Tomorrow is the halfway mark. Twenty weeks pregnant. Add up all the other pregnancies and they would not come close to this many weeks.
I love this little girl so much more than anyone else I haven't met. I have dreams about a little curly red haired girl holding her dad's hand or listening to classical music with him. I picture her as a mini me, just with red hair. (Baby girl has a 50% chance of inheriting red hair because her dad has red hair and her grandma-my mother-had red hair.)
Husband has started talking about her more (without my prompting) and we are both looking forward to April 5th.
I felt her for sure for the first time on Friday. It was amazing. I was with my teacher bff watching the wonderful students before school. I had just finished a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I felt a wiggle in my upper right abdomen. The tears almost started. I had suspicions before Friday, but ever since then, I've felt nudges and twists that make me grab my stomach, hoping I can feel her on the outside.
I cannot wait for husband to feel her.
Thursday brings the anatomy scan. I am excited to see the details of her perfect little body and the intricacies of how everything works. My favorite parts of every ultrasound has been to see her tiny heart beating, so the thought of seeing all her major organs working together makes me longingly count down the hours until the appointment.
Today is also a big day. I look forward to the 2nd and the 15th of each month. The second lets me count down the months and the 15th lets me round to counting down half months. Today I get to round and say she is due in 4 1/2 months.
Tomorrow is the halfway mark. Twenty weeks pregnant. Add up all the other pregnancies and they would not come close to this many weeks.
I love this little girl so much more than anyone else I haven't met. I have dreams about a little curly red haired girl holding her dad's hand or listening to classical music with him. I picture her as a mini me, just with red hair. (Baby girl has a 50% chance of inheriting red hair because her dad has red hair and her grandma-my mother-had red hair.)
Husband has started talking about her more (without my prompting) and we are both looking forward to April 5th.
I felt her for sure for the first time on Friday. It was amazing. I was with my teacher bff watching the wonderful students before school. I had just finished a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I felt a wiggle in my upper right abdomen. The tears almost started. I had suspicions before Friday, but ever since then, I've felt nudges and twists that make me grab my stomach, hoping I can feel her on the outside.
I cannot wait for husband to feel her.
Thursday brings the anatomy scan. I am excited to see the details of her perfect little body and the intricacies of how everything works. My favorite parts of every ultrasound has been to see her tiny heart beating, so the thought of seeing all her major organs working together makes me longingly count down the hours until the appointment.
Today is also a big day. I look forward to the 2nd and the 15th of each month. The second lets me count down the months and the 15th lets me round to counting down half months. Today I get to round and say she is due in 4 1/2 months.
22 October, 2016
Sixteen weeks, three days (And the baby is...)
In a way, I never thought I would reach this point.
*Knowing the sex of my baby
*Beginning to show a slight bump that is noticeable by people I run into
*Actually feeling pregnant (the first trimester was a blessing and a curse because I rarely felt stereotypical pregnancy symptoms)
*Starting to confidently buy baby items
*Making real plans for April in terms of maternity leave, husband taking work off for the last week of school, birth plan, etc.
It's not that I did not think I would be pregnant past the first trimester or that I would ever be pregnant. However, I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to the topic of pregnancy and children and in order to make it through the first five years of my marriage without ever seeing a live baby on the ultrasound monitor, I needed to close off the baby part of my brain to save me emotionally. Whenever something got through to the baby part of my brain (negative pregnancy test, positive pregnancy test with negative doctor's appointment, friends talking nonstop about their children, etc.) it would take a while to heal from those occurrences. Because of all the pain I had gone through, I never dreamed to think about my own baby or having a large, pregnant stomach, or anything past conception.
When I was around fourteen week along, I woke up one morning to a nice stream of blood in the toilet and I panicked. I went and woke up husband who asked if I wanted to go to the ER. Being the practical person that I am, I did not want that. Because I was only in my first trimester and nothing could be done to save the baby at that point, waiting a few hours to get in to see the doctor would not change a thing. I went to school to get ready for a sub and upon coming home, I grabbed the husband to go with me on my trip to the doctor. The doctor's office will check the fetal heartbeat at any time, no appointment necessary. After a couple tantalizing minutes of the nurse rolling the monitor up and down my belly, she found a strong heartbeat. We were thankful, but husband asked if we could get on the ultrasound technician's schedule soon. After checking the front desk, we learned that there was an opening in her schedule in just a few short minutes. After hopping on the technician's table, it only took a couple seconds for the wand to be pulled out and a beautiful picture of the baby to show up on the screen. More relief. All I cared about was seeing the beating heart (although i loved seeing the spine). As I relaxed on the table, I heard husband ask the question I was waiting for. "So, can you tell the sex right now?"
The technician laughed. "I was going to check in just a second. It is probably still too early to tell, but we'll take a look."
She zoomed in on baby's genitals to see what she could see.
"At this point, nothing is certain. However, just by looking at the development, I would say that it's a girl with 70% certainty."
A girl! Maybe!
She saw a place above the placenta where the bleeding probably came from, but said we had nothing to worry about. "Take it easy for a couple days and you'll be fine."
Fast forward to this previous Thursday. I counted down the hours by the time Sunday arrived. I could not wait for the gender ultrasound (and frankly, husband was probably more excited). I was more excited to see that heart beating (which it was).
After checking the heartbeat and showing us some cute profiles of the baby, she got right to it. Pushing the baby around a bit so that the genitals were on display, she told us we were expecting a little girl!
We now have 19 pictures of baby girl on our fridge. (She's getting so big!)
Our next scheduled ultrasound will be the week before Thanksgiving for the comprehensive anatomy scan.
*Knowing the sex of my baby
*Beginning to show a slight bump that is noticeable by people I run into
*Actually feeling pregnant (the first trimester was a blessing and a curse because I rarely felt stereotypical pregnancy symptoms)
*Starting to confidently buy baby items
*Making real plans for April in terms of maternity leave, husband taking work off for the last week of school, birth plan, etc.
It's not that I did not think I would be pregnant past the first trimester or that I would ever be pregnant. However, I am an extremely sensitive person when it comes to the topic of pregnancy and children and in order to make it through the first five years of my marriage without ever seeing a live baby on the ultrasound monitor, I needed to close off the baby part of my brain to save me emotionally. Whenever something got through to the baby part of my brain (negative pregnancy test, positive pregnancy test with negative doctor's appointment, friends talking nonstop about their children, etc.) it would take a while to heal from those occurrences. Because of all the pain I had gone through, I never dreamed to think about my own baby or having a large, pregnant stomach, or anything past conception.
When I was around fourteen week along, I woke up one morning to a nice stream of blood in the toilet and I panicked. I went and woke up husband who asked if I wanted to go to the ER. Being the practical person that I am, I did not want that. Because I was only in my first trimester and nothing could be done to save the baby at that point, waiting a few hours to get in to see the doctor would not change a thing. I went to school to get ready for a sub and upon coming home, I grabbed the husband to go with me on my trip to the doctor. The doctor's office will check the fetal heartbeat at any time, no appointment necessary. After a couple tantalizing minutes of the nurse rolling the monitor up and down my belly, she found a strong heartbeat. We were thankful, but husband asked if we could get on the ultrasound technician's schedule soon. After checking the front desk, we learned that there was an opening in her schedule in just a few short minutes. After hopping on the technician's table, it only took a couple seconds for the wand to be pulled out and a beautiful picture of the baby to show up on the screen. More relief. All I cared about was seeing the beating heart (although i loved seeing the spine). As I relaxed on the table, I heard husband ask the question I was waiting for. "So, can you tell the sex right now?"
The technician laughed. "I was going to check in just a second. It is probably still too early to tell, but we'll take a look."
She zoomed in on baby's genitals to see what she could see.
"At this point, nothing is certain. However, just by looking at the development, I would say that it's a girl with 70% certainty."
A girl! Maybe!
She saw a place above the placenta where the bleeding probably came from, but said we had nothing to worry about. "Take it easy for a couple days and you'll be fine."
Fast forward to this previous Thursday. I counted down the hours by the time Sunday arrived. I could not wait for the gender ultrasound (and frankly, husband was probably more excited). I was more excited to see that heart beating (which it was).
After checking the heartbeat and showing us some cute profiles of the baby, she got right to it. Pushing the baby around a bit so that the genitals were on display, she told us we were expecting a little girl!
We now have 19 pictures of baby girl on our fridge. (She's getting so big!)
Our next scheduled ultrasound will be the week before Thanksgiving for the comprehensive anatomy scan.
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