Today is not the day. I will discuss the results of IVF #1 in just under two weeks. Today I am going to talk about emotions.
A dear friend from college reached out to me to say that she had been through some similar nasty infertility stuff and we decided we needed to get together. (It had almost been a year since I had seen her, so it was about time anyway.) We met at a local drink shop and got caught up on each other's lives and naturally transitioned into the trial of infertility. Of all the ironic circumstances, she just so happens to go to the same clinic I attend and we even see the same doctor.
It was wonderful to be able to be so extremely real with someone in a conversation about all the terrible emotions and thoughts I have had since starting this process to someone who 100% understands and can relate to what I have been through. I have loved my support system of husband and a few close relatives (including an amazing aunt who went through this process years ago), but being able to talk to someone going through this currently was amazing.
We discussed the horrors of baby showers, the dread of a baby announcement, and the sheer sorrow that arrives each month when it just did not work out again. She gets it. It sounds terrible to say that I cry when I see baby announcements (hence my absence from social media sites the last year) or that I avoid gatherings of new mothers. You could never quite understand unless you have been through the mess. I am definitely not upset at the friends that have babies. The tears are for myself because it is a continual reminder that I do not have that.
After having the wonderful conversation with her, we made plans to see each other soon. She had a procedure two days after we met. She texted me after a successful injection and I thought about her at the time of the procedure. I am crossing my fingers that we can still see each other once the school year starts (let's face it: I do not have much of a social life when mid-August hits). Even if we do not meet up quite as often, it will be nice to have the support and to be a support.