This summer, I was invited to my first non-family baby shower that I was able to go to post move. It was for a sweet friend of mine and my daughter adores her boys so I was happy to go.
I quickly learned that I had made a mistake when the women present started going around in a circle telling humorous anecdotes about their labor and delivery experiences.
It caused sorrowful feelings to resurface that I had not felt in quite a while.
I do not share my daughter's birth story very frequently. If I do, it goes something like this:
I made it to the hospital at 12:30 and she was born just after 4:00 with around 15 minutes of pushing.
Simple. Minimal. Not very detailed.
When I think back to that day, I remember such special, sacred moments. Even when I was at my worst, I asked the midwife to look into the epidural and was later told the anesthesiologist would not give me one due to the blood thinners I took. I still smile. I cherish bringing my daughter into this world. My point of view for my daughter's birth is dramatically different than how other women view births, and that's okay.
Even though I get to spend time with my beautiful daughter, infertility will always be a huge part of my life. Once our next child is born, I will still feel some intermittent sorrow when I hear a baby announcement. I will still keep track of how old our miscarried children would be had they been viable pregnancies. I will occasionally ponder how old our child would be had we been able to conceive at the very beginning of our marriage. However, I think about these things peacefully (in general) now and do not need a baby shower to rip ugly old emotions to the forefront of my brain.
I will not make an appearance at a baby shower in the near future. This is my current boundary and I very much support myself in this decision.
31 October, 2019
19 October, 2019
First Ultrasound
My next step, after having two positive blood draws, was to have my first ultrasound! Shortly after moving to our new location in the Midwest last year, we decided that the local hospital's labor and delivery section did not sound like a place that would mesh well with our ideal labor, delivery, and recovery. The problem? The local hospital is around 15 minutes away and there are only a few hospitals within an hour of our little home.
We did a decent amount of research to determine which hospital would be a good fit. We chose one, an hour away, that has beautiful labor, delivery, and recovery rooms (I will stay in one room the entire stay) and has a midwife that can deliver there.
We called the office and set up an appointment for the initial visit. Just like all the other doctor offices we have worked with here, they were confused about any special requests we had because of the IVF. ("You want an early ultrasound? I don't know if we can do that..." After being on hold for half an hour, it was determined they can do that.)
We set the appointment for a Thursday morning and got excited to see a wiggling baby and hear the heartbeat.
The morning of the appointment arrived on September 12. We thankfully arrived without much traffic and signed in. As I sat peacefully in the waiting room, my toddler started getting antsy so she wandered over to hang out at the fish tank. It was an interesting setup for a doctor's office waiting room. Not only were there OBGYN patients, but the waiting room was also shared with a pediatrics office and a regular family medicine practice.
As we waited (and waited and waited), I overheard the receptionist talking with a patient that the ultrasound machine was currently not working. At that point, I was feeling as though nothing about this pregnancy was going to be easy. I was hoping that they would fix it before it was my appointment time.
After we waited for close to an hour, I was called back. The nurse that did my initial appointment was a delight. She took the usual information about health history and family health history. ("You have how many siblings? Give me a minute... I need to add them one at a time.")
She gave my daughter a container of bubbles and had a coloring book and crayons ready for her to use. We really enjoyed chatting with her. We were all having such a delightful time that after we were done with business, we all agreed to stay in her office and chat while we waited for my ultrasound appointment.
Fifteen minutes later, we got to see the baby! He/She was adorable! I forgot how different they look when you have an early ultrasound (7 weeks). My daughter was really excited until we actually saw the baby and then she became very confused.
Seeing a baby on an ultrasound is the best feeling ever. So far with this pregnancy, I have not been feeling quite as anxious as with my daughter's pregnancy. I am unsure why. I am definitely in a better place right now than I was sooner. I have also had a successful pregnancy, so I might just be more confident because of that.
We finished the appointment and I had to go down a few doors to their phlebotomist. (Before we moved, every medical clinic we visited had a phlebotomist in office. Here, I have not seen many medical offices that have their own phlebotomist. It gets a little frustrating.)
After waiting 20 minutes, I had given 9 vials of blood and we headed home.
We did a decent amount of research to determine which hospital would be a good fit. We chose one, an hour away, that has beautiful labor, delivery, and recovery rooms (I will stay in one room the entire stay) and has a midwife that can deliver there.
We called the office and set up an appointment for the initial visit. Just like all the other doctor offices we have worked with here, they were confused about any special requests we had because of the IVF. ("You want an early ultrasound? I don't know if we can do that..." After being on hold for half an hour, it was determined they can do that.)
We set the appointment for a Thursday morning and got excited to see a wiggling baby and hear the heartbeat.
The morning of the appointment arrived on September 12. We thankfully arrived without much traffic and signed in. As I sat peacefully in the waiting room, my toddler started getting antsy so she wandered over to hang out at the fish tank. It was an interesting setup for a doctor's office waiting room. Not only were there OBGYN patients, but the waiting room was also shared with a pediatrics office and a regular family medicine practice.
As we waited (and waited and waited), I overheard the receptionist talking with a patient that the ultrasound machine was currently not working. At that point, I was feeling as though nothing about this pregnancy was going to be easy. I was hoping that they would fix it before it was my appointment time.
After we waited for close to an hour, I was called back. The nurse that did my initial appointment was a delight. She took the usual information about health history and family health history. ("You have how many siblings? Give me a minute... I need to add them one at a time.")
She gave my daughter a container of bubbles and had a coloring book and crayons ready for her to use. We really enjoyed chatting with her. We were all having such a delightful time that after we were done with business, we all agreed to stay in her office and chat while we waited for my ultrasound appointment.
Fifteen minutes later, we got to see the baby! He/She was adorable! I forgot how different they look when you have an early ultrasound (7 weeks). My daughter was really excited until we actually saw the baby and then she became very confused.
Seeing a baby on an ultrasound is the best feeling ever. So far with this pregnancy, I have not been feeling quite as anxious as with my daughter's pregnancy. I am unsure why. I am definitely in a better place right now than I was sooner. I have also had a successful pregnancy, so I might just be more confident because of that.
We finished the appointment and I had to go down a few doors to their phlebotomist. (Before we moved, every medical clinic we visited had a phlebotomist in office. Here, I have not seen many medical offices that have their own phlebotomist. It gets a little frustrating.)
After waiting 20 minutes, I had given 9 vials of blood and we headed home.
23 September, 2019
Beta HCG FET #1
(Originally written on Tuesday August 20, 2019)
The date for my schedule beta HCG blood test was Monday August 19, 2019. My nerves were in check until Sunday night. We had a couple of friends over for dinner and as soon as they left, I was fretting like crazy.
Monday morning, we left our home to arrive at a local medical center at 8:00. They gave me sign in information so I could look up the results online. We thought this would be best to be able to look up the results as soon as possible.
As they were putting the bandage on, I inquired how long the results would take to arrive. I was told that the HCG would take a matter of an hour or two, but the progesterone and estrogen levels needed to be sent to a lab ninety minutes away. They would be processed by the end of the day. Not a problem.
When we arrived home, we ran into technical difficulties. We tried to access my online account for the health care system that did the blood draw. We wanted to find out as quickly as possible! After an hour of looking up information and calling unhelpful account representatives, we gave up. A lady told us we had done too many things wrong and she would send my information to technical support to solve.
I could not get my mind off the blood draw. With my daughter's transfer, I took several pregnancy tests, so while I was nervous the day of the draw, I would have been shocked if the results had been negative. With this blood draw, I was going off the faith of my husband who was confident that I would receive a positive result.
We called my clinic once or twice to ask if the results had been received, but nothing had been sent.
I finally turned to him and told him I needed to get out of the house. I gave him two dramatic road trip options (one to a zoo 3.5 hours away and the other to an eclectic grocery store 2.5 hours away). After a false start (the husband was too drowsy and we saw a four car accident happen right in front of us so we returned home for a nap), we headed out at around 1:00. We arrived at Jungle Jim's Grocery store just in time to shop for a couple of hours.
We had fun cruising around the store. There were so many fun things to look at and we were overwhelmed by the number of options. I called the clinic one last time. They still did not have the fax and their front office was closing soon.
"What time does the last person leave that would be able to call me if the results came in?"
I was told 9:00 in my time zone.
We had a very disappointing dinner and hit the road to come back home. As the minutes ticked by, I stopped looking after 9:00 hit. I was giving myself a pep talk and came to grips with the fact that I would not know until the following day.
"Do you want me to stop at a CVS?"
The nine most beautiful words of the day spoken by my husband.
When we were less than an hour from home, he stopped to purchase a pregnancy test at a CVS.
I waited until we got home and put our very sleepy toddler to bed. (I don't think she woke up the entire time I got her out of her car seat, carried her inside, and placed her in her bed.)
Then I took the test.
I started crying as I waited. The emotional buildup was over. I would finally know, one way or the other. The sense of relief was very intense.
My wait was very short. After only about thirty seconds, a very positive result appeared.
My husband came in and saw me crying. I am a big crier. You never know the cause of my crying.
The rest of the night before going to bed, he reminded me approximately 30 times that I was pregnant.
The next morning, there was a flurry of phone calls between us and the clinic that did my blood draw. Once my fertility clinic opened, I started calling and emailing them.
My amazing coordinator finally called.
"Do you have a minute?"
My heart dropped. Even with a positive pregnancy test, you still want a strong number. If the number is under 5, you are not pregnant. If it is between 5 and 25, it's a chemical pregnancy. If the number is between 25 and 100, you are pregnant, but we would be very cautious. If the number was above 100, I would be good to go.
An at-home pregnancy test can pick up very low levels. I was worried what her question meant.
"Well, you're pregnant! The number was 444. Congratulations!"
My heart started beating again.
We chatted about the blood draw I need to do again next week to make sure the pregnancy is still progressing the way it should and the ultrasound I should have done in just a few weeks.
The date for my schedule beta HCG blood test was Monday August 19, 2019. My nerves were in check until Sunday night. We had a couple of friends over for dinner and as soon as they left, I was fretting like crazy.
Monday morning, we left our home to arrive at a local medical center at 8:00. They gave me sign in information so I could look up the results online. We thought this would be best to be able to look up the results as soon as possible.
As they were putting the bandage on, I inquired how long the results would take to arrive. I was told that the HCG would take a matter of an hour or two, but the progesterone and estrogen levels needed to be sent to a lab ninety minutes away. They would be processed by the end of the day. Not a problem.
When we arrived home, we ran into technical difficulties. We tried to access my online account for the health care system that did the blood draw. We wanted to find out as quickly as possible! After an hour of looking up information and calling unhelpful account representatives, we gave up. A lady told us we had done too many things wrong and she would send my information to technical support to solve.
I could not get my mind off the blood draw. With my daughter's transfer, I took several pregnancy tests, so while I was nervous the day of the draw, I would have been shocked if the results had been negative. With this blood draw, I was going off the faith of my husband who was confident that I would receive a positive result.
We called my clinic once or twice to ask if the results had been received, but nothing had been sent.
I finally turned to him and told him I needed to get out of the house. I gave him two dramatic road trip options (one to a zoo 3.5 hours away and the other to an eclectic grocery store 2.5 hours away). After a false start (the husband was too drowsy and we saw a four car accident happen right in front of us so we returned home for a nap), we headed out at around 1:00. We arrived at Jungle Jim's Grocery store just in time to shop for a couple of hours.
We had fun cruising around the store. There were so many fun things to look at and we were overwhelmed by the number of options. I called the clinic one last time. They still did not have the fax and their front office was closing soon.
"What time does the last person leave that would be able to call me if the results came in?"
I was told 9:00 in my time zone.
We had a very disappointing dinner and hit the road to come back home. As the minutes ticked by, I stopped looking after 9:00 hit. I was giving myself a pep talk and came to grips with the fact that I would not know until the following day.
"Do you want me to stop at a CVS?"
The nine most beautiful words of the day spoken by my husband.
When we were less than an hour from home, he stopped to purchase a pregnancy test at a CVS.
I waited until we got home and put our very sleepy toddler to bed. (I don't think she woke up the entire time I got her out of her car seat, carried her inside, and placed her in her bed.)
Then I took the test.
I started crying as I waited. The emotional buildup was over. I would finally know, one way or the other. The sense of relief was very intense.
My wait was very short. After only about thirty seconds, a very positive result appeared.
My husband came in and saw me crying. I am a big crier. You never know the cause of my crying.
The rest of the night before going to bed, he reminded me approximately 30 times that I was pregnant.
The next morning, there was a flurry of phone calls between us and the clinic that did my blood draw. Once my fertility clinic opened, I started calling and emailing them.
My amazing coordinator finally called.
"Do you have a minute?"
My heart dropped. Even with a positive pregnancy test, you still want a strong number. If the number is under 5, you are not pregnant. If it is between 5 and 25, it's a chemical pregnancy. If the number is between 25 and 100, you are pregnant, but we would be very cautious. If the number was above 100, I would be good to go.
An at-home pregnancy test can pick up very low levels. I was worried what her question meant.
"Well, you're pregnant! The number was 444. Congratulations!"
My heart started beating again.
We chatted about the blood draw I need to do again next week to make sure the pregnancy is still progressing the way it should and the ultrasound I should have done in just a few weeks.
18 August, 2019
A letter to my embryo
To my microscopic baby,
I adore you. I have two pictures of you and one of them is on my nightstand. I like to gaze at your not-quite-hydrated little being and marvel at how amazing you are. The RE told me you looked nice and plump right before I became pregnant with you and you were as perfect as perfect could be. I was so relieved when I heard that you had survived the thawing process. Not every blastocyst does.
I already consider you part of our family. No matter what the results of the blood draw are tomorrow, you are mine. I am so thankful for a religion that tells me that you are and always will be my baby.
Your father is convinced I am pregnant with you and I have a cautious optimism. You are a fighter. There are so many friends and family members rooting for you and I can feel their love and support. If you are meant to be, you are so lucky that you have so many people backing your existence. You are fortuitous that you have a mother and father that love each other dearly and an older sister who knows that her mommy has a baby, but doesn't quite get the difference between her baby doll and her mother's pregnancy. Your sister has been working on lullabies lately. Right before her nap, she raucously rocked her baby doll while enthusiastically singing "Baby Shark." If that's not something to look forward to, I don't know what is.
I can promise you that if you are born into our family, you will be so loved. The closer it gets to the blood draw, the less I want to do it because the more brokenhearted I will be if the results are negative. I have tried not to be as invested in this cycle. I gave more than I had emotionally to get your sister to this earth. However, I realized I cannot go through this cycle like it is simply the medical procedure it appears to be on the outside. Even though you were frozen in a lab with your brothers and sisters up until nine days ago, you are my baby and I am invested in you.
You are loved. You are special to me.
I adore you. I have two pictures of you and one of them is on my nightstand. I like to gaze at your not-quite-hydrated little being and marvel at how amazing you are. The RE told me you looked nice and plump right before I became pregnant with you and you were as perfect as perfect could be. I was so relieved when I heard that you had survived the thawing process. Not every blastocyst does.
I already consider you part of our family. No matter what the results of the blood draw are tomorrow, you are mine. I am so thankful for a religion that tells me that you are and always will be my baby.
Your father is convinced I am pregnant with you and I have a cautious optimism. You are a fighter. There are so many friends and family members rooting for you and I can feel their love and support. If you are meant to be, you are so lucky that you have so many people backing your existence. You are fortuitous that you have a mother and father that love each other dearly and an older sister who knows that her mommy has a baby, but doesn't quite get the difference between her baby doll and her mother's pregnancy. Your sister has been working on lullabies lately. Right before her nap, she raucously rocked her baby doll while enthusiastically singing "Baby Shark." If that's not something to look forward to, I don't know what is.
I can promise you that if you are born into our family, you will be so loved. The closer it gets to the blood draw, the less I want to do it because the more brokenhearted I will be if the results are negative. I have tried not to be as invested in this cycle. I gave more than I had emotionally to get your sister to this earth. However, I realized I cannot go through this cycle like it is simply the medical procedure it appears to be on the outside. Even though you were frozen in a lab with your brothers and sisters up until nine days ago, you are my baby and I am invested in you.
You are loved. You are special to me.
10 August, 2019
Transfer Day!
It's been a while! Let's get caught up. I had my final blood draw one week prior to the transfer (August 2). I received a call to tell me that everything looks great now! They instructed me to start on the PIO (progesterone in oil) injections as planned. I was ecstatic that the last hurtle had been crossed. I knew that unless something major happened, I would be able to do the transfer if that last blood draw came back with shining results.
Sunday August 3, we started the PIO shots. We found a great tutorial online to help us know exactly what to do with the shots. (If I had been in town for longer, my clinic would have given us a shot class so we could have learned in-person. This video was so good that both my husband and myself felt confident going into the first shot.) I am so grateful for technology so that we not only have this blessing of having children, but that we can watch a nurse demonstrate the best way to administer an intramuscular shot online.
We followed the instructions to a T. It has been a while since I have done any sort of shot (the morning of my daughter's birth). I took the fat needle and pierced it into the vial of progesterone in oil. I tipped the whole thing upside-down and drew out slightly more than 1 ml of oil. Flick the syringe so that all the little air bubbles merge at the top of the syringe and push out all the air and excess oil so that precisely 1 ml of PIO remains in the vial. Remove the syringe from the bottle and replace the grossly over sized needle with a still-large but not as terrifying looking needle. Then you get the inject it. I haven't iced the area or used a warm pack at any point. I am somewhat sore, especially as the day proceeds. We switch sides every day so one side is always slightly worse than the other.
August 9, 2019 will be a day I will always look back on with love, no matter what the outcome is of this transfer.
We had a very relaxing morning. We went to Trader Joe's to grab the food to help us last the rest of our trip and headed to a local mall's toy store. We wandered around the store and eventually bought our toddler five little animal figurines. On the way back to the car, she begged us to play in a little splash pad area. She and I had fun running through the fountains of water. Because some of the fountains had random intervals in which they would shoot out water, we were both taken by surprise a couple of times and ended up wetter than was expected.
We got back home, put our daughter down for her nap, and I tried to relax. My husband offered to give me a blessing. It was a gorgeous blessing. I felt peace and comfort. We were both very emotional by the end of the blessing. I have been trying my hardest not to get emotionally drawn into this round of IVF. I emotionally invested myself as much as possible on the road to having our daughter and I knew it was not healthy. I have not been a pessimist about this FET, I have just been a realist. A FET is not a guaranteed way to conceive a baby. The stats are higher than natural conceptions and IUIs, but it is not 100%. (My doctor gave me close to a 70% chance for the rest of my embryos.) I am in a much better place emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually this time around, but that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of IVF.
I have been surrounded by loving people. I was in awe by all the unsolicited and loving texts and calls I have received. I have not divulged the true reason for making a visit home to most of our friends in the mid-west. One of them gave me a hug the last time I saw her before the trip and said some words of encouragement. I had told so many people that we were just taking a trip to visit family that I was taken by surprise and it took a second for me to change my mindset. Another friend texted me right before we left. She said just the right thing that I needed to hear that day. Someone else texted me the morning of with once again, a heart-melting message.
This feeling of love and warmth should be something that everyone feels.
After I was showered and ready to go (wearing the same shirt I did on the last embryo transfer day), we packed up the car, and dropped our daughter off at my brother's house. There was a small family shin-dig going on with ten of her cousins and four adults. She immediately gravitated towards the little play kitchen. She hugged and kissed us both as we were leaving. (Side note: A few days before the transfer, my husband and I were prepping my daughter about the day by telling her that we were going to leave her with her cousins. She turned to us and said, "And Mama get a baby!" Talk about a two-year-old picking up on more than you give her credit for.)
During the last transfer, my bladder was too full (in my opinion) and the transfer just felt like two people were pushing on my bladder in two different directions. This time, I sipped on bits of water once we were on our way to the clinic for the procedure. I estimate I drank around 8-12 ounces. It was the perfect amount this time.
We arrived at our clinic at 3:54. We were checked in by a cheerful receptionist and I was handed a green wrist band. "Is this for the ride I get to take later on?" It took the receptionist a second, but for the rest of the time checking in, we made puns about and likened the procedure to a roller coaster ride. "You can take your Valium now. That will really help the ride get going!"
I don't remember the Valium doing much for me last time, but this time, I felt slightly tipsy. When our nurse (Heidi) came back to get us, I needed support to walk straight. We headed to the same room that I became pregnant with our daughter and got comfortable. We, once again, received some good luck socks. These ones were not as cute as the Superman socks last time.
Shortly after I was ready, our doctor came in! We had not seen her since our last transfer. We adore this woman. (She also commented on the socks.) Very quickly, we were all ready to go. The embryologist showed our name written on a screen in the lab and zoomed in on the embryo. We watched a catheter grab the little embryo and it was brought into our room. Our doctor quickly did a practice run, showing us where on my lining she was going to place the perfect little embryo.
I relaxed for around ten more minutes as the nurse came back in with a sheet of instructions. After waiting another minute, I got dressed and we slowly meandered out.
That evening, we enjoyed pizza and The Emperor's New Grove. It was a glorious day!
Sunday August 3, we started the PIO shots. We found a great tutorial online to help us know exactly what to do with the shots. (If I had been in town for longer, my clinic would have given us a shot class so we could have learned in-person. This video was so good that both my husband and myself felt confident going into the first shot.) I am so grateful for technology so that we not only have this blessing of having children, but that we can watch a nurse demonstrate the best way to administer an intramuscular shot online.
We followed the instructions to a T. It has been a while since I have done any sort of shot (the morning of my daughter's birth). I took the fat needle and pierced it into the vial of progesterone in oil. I tipped the whole thing upside-down and drew out slightly more than 1 ml of oil. Flick the syringe so that all the little air bubbles merge at the top of the syringe and push out all the air and excess oil so that precisely 1 ml of PIO remains in the vial. Remove the syringe from the bottle and replace the grossly over sized needle with a still-large but not as terrifying looking needle. Then you get the inject it. I haven't iced the area or used a warm pack at any point. I am somewhat sore, especially as the day proceeds. We switch sides every day so one side is always slightly worse than the other.
August 9, 2019 will be a day I will always look back on with love, no matter what the outcome is of this transfer.
We had a very relaxing morning. We went to Trader Joe's to grab the food to help us last the rest of our trip and headed to a local mall's toy store. We wandered around the store and eventually bought our toddler five little animal figurines. On the way back to the car, she begged us to play in a little splash pad area. She and I had fun running through the fountains of water. Because some of the fountains had random intervals in which they would shoot out water, we were both taken by surprise a couple of times and ended up wetter than was expected.
We got back home, put our daughter down for her nap, and I tried to relax. My husband offered to give me a blessing. It was a gorgeous blessing. I felt peace and comfort. We were both very emotional by the end of the blessing. I have been trying my hardest not to get emotionally drawn into this round of IVF. I emotionally invested myself as much as possible on the road to having our daughter and I knew it was not healthy. I have not been a pessimist about this FET, I have just been a realist. A FET is not a guaranteed way to conceive a baby. The stats are higher than natural conceptions and IUIs, but it is not 100%. (My doctor gave me close to a 70% chance for the rest of my embryos.) I am in a much better place emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually this time around, but that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of IVF.
I have been surrounded by loving people. I was in awe by all the unsolicited and loving texts and calls I have received. I have not divulged the true reason for making a visit home to most of our friends in the mid-west. One of them gave me a hug the last time I saw her before the trip and said some words of encouragement. I had told so many people that we were just taking a trip to visit family that I was taken by surprise and it took a second for me to change my mindset. Another friend texted me right before we left. She said just the right thing that I needed to hear that day. Someone else texted me the morning of with once again, a heart-melting message.
This feeling of love and warmth should be something that everyone feels.
After I was showered and ready to go (wearing the same shirt I did on the last embryo transfer day), we packed up the car, and dropped our daughter off at my brother's house. There was a small family shin-dig going on with ten of her cousins and four adults. She immediately gravitated towards the little play kitchen. She hugged and kissed us both as we were leaving. (Side note: A few days before the transfer, my husband and I were prepping my daughter about the day by telling her that we were going to leave her with her cousins. She turned to us and said, "And Mama get a baby!" Talk about a two-year-old picking up on more than you give her credit for.)
During the last transfer, my bladder was too full (in my opinion) and the transfer just felt like two people were pushing on my bladder in two different directions. This time, I sipped on bits of water once we were on our way to the clinic for the procedure. I estimate I drank around 8-12 ounces. It was the perfect amount this time.
We arrived at our clinic at 3:54. We were checked in by a cheerful receptionist and I was handed a green wrist band. "Is this for the ride I get to take later on?" It took the receptionist a second, but for the rest of the time checking in, we made puns about and likened the procedure to a roller coaster ride. "You can take your Valium now. That will really help the ride get going!"
I don't remember the Valium doing much for me last time, but this time, I felt slightly tipsy. When our nurse (Heidi) came back to get us, I needed support to walk straight. We headed to the same room that I became pregnant with our daughter and got comfortable. We, once again, received some good luck socks. These ones were not as cute as the Superman socks last time.
Shortly after I was ready, our doctor came in! We had not seen her since our last transfer. We adore this woman. (She also commented on the socks.) Very quickly, we were all ready to go. The embryologist showed our name written on a screen in the lab and zoomed in on the embryo. We watched a catheter grab the little embryo and it was brought into our room. Our doctor quickly did a practice run, showing us where on my lining she was going to place the perfect little embryo.
And just like that, we saw a small little blob of white pushed to my lining. The embryologist grabbed the catheter and brought it back to the lab to ensure our little one didn't try to make a home in the catheter. She came back after minute and said we were good to go! You probably cannot tell in the picture below, but next to my lining is a circle. Inside the circle is a little splash of white. That white is not the embryo, but air bubbles that were place in next to the embryo so we could see where he/she was placed.
I relaxed for around ten more minutes as the nurse came back in with a sheet of instructions. After waiting another minute, I got dressed and we slowly meandered out.
That evening, we enjoyed pizza and The Emperor's New Grove. It was a glorious day!
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